So I got booked for my first paid speaking gig. MAJOR! Last year, I wrote an affirmation on my wall that read: I AM A SPEAKER. Then a few months later, I decided to take it more seriously and wrote: I AM A GLOBAL SPEAKER AND GET PAID FOR SERVICES. I was more decisive with my words, and my thoughts. I wanted the Universe to know exactly what I wanted, and that I was willing to do the work. This engagement was a sign that I was totally aligned with my passions. However, I experienced a feeling I didn’t know would come with this new territory, distress.
I literally felt a wave of emotions, both excitement and terror. On one hand, I had mastered my thoughts, and utilized every action to be afforded such an opportunity. I told myself I was good enough, and that I would network and meet the right people to guide me on the right path. All of that came true, and then some. On the other hand, I was scared shitless. Had my affirmation really just come true? Were my thoughts that powerful to create such abundance? Better yet, was someone listening to my prayers when I asked God for strength to carry the light and affect change in other’s lives? No, there was no Big Brother watching me. I had manifested this speaking engagement, and it was not without shock.
I’ll tell you why.
When you put your heart and soul into yourself, I mean truly believe in yourself, you have unwavering faith that anything and everything you do will be a success. There are no other options. It’s not the easiest thing to do by any means; however, it’s vital to thriving under all conditions. This is exactly what I did. I quit my full-time job a few months prior, and took action to create the life I envisioned. You know, the one where I was able to be a mother, inspire the masses, finish my graduate degree, and write an eBook! That decision came with a lot of harsh realities, like ensuring the stability of our home, stopping daycare for a period of time, and having my family help keep the lights on. My decision affected everyone in my household, and there were many times I felt the weight of guilt on my shoulders. Had I made the right decision for us??! To answer that question, yes I did. This gig was confirmation that someone saw my hard work and wanted to give me a chance. The distress I felt came from me feeling nervous. So many times we work to have a breakthrough, and don’t realize when it comes we have to be prepared to accept it. Even though I had been preparing for months, I wasn’t sure I was ready to own my power and take a seat at the table. I wasn’t sure if I was even the right candidate. It’s funny, I had an affirmation come true and tried to turn it down. Too foolish to understand God heard my prayers, and knew I was ready to take a step forward. I quickly swapped those feelings for new ones, joy and gratitude. I know this is just the beginning and I am so grateful.
When your affirmations come true, expect to be mystified by life’s wonders. Stay prepared. Always be ready to be of service. And know like I know, our thoughts are POWERFUL, use them wisely.