I'm lucky enough to be celebrating my second year of motherhood. Seems like yesterday, I brought #SweetBabyAyo home from the hospital. I was 22-years-old, wet behind the ears, and scared shitless. She was so tiny and beautiful. It was surreal. I'd watched my mother take care of things all my life, and I just thought it was magic. Little did I know, "mommy magic" doesn't happen over night.
I was in labor for more than 24 hours. My little mama weighed 8 pounds 4 ounces. I got stitches after birth because she tore my perineum. My once perky breast became a milk machine, pumping out liquid gold. I breastfeed for 13 months, and 9 months exclusively. Sleep became a luxury, and only when I was allowed. She cried most nights, and I wasn't always sure what to do. Her father and I broke up when she was four-months-old. I faced mild depression for the next few months, and cried myself to sleep most nights. I was in a car accident and it was totaled; Ayo was in the back seat. A few weeks later, my main source of income was jeopardized when she accidentally knocked 16oz of tea on the logic board. I worked from home. The biggest blow was losing my grandmother, one of the most important people in my life.
I share those experiences because my first year of motherhood was a nightmare. The constant in my life was Ayo; she was always by my side. She loved me when I didn't know how to love myself. She felt most at home in my arms, and that's when I was my happiest. She could not talk, but her eyes were so encouraging. We have pushed through together. I have grown so much in the last two years. Those moments were the catalyst for change. It made me connect to a higher power. I realized the power of prayer and affirmations have boundless blessings.
Motherhood, isn't a one-size-fits all role. It's different for everyone. Some mother’s are lucky to have strong partners, while others don't. There is no comparison. I couldn't appreciate my own mother the way I could now until I became one. The sacrifices some women have to make to put food on the table, and to make sure their children are safe, is unreal. Too many times women have given up their own identities, to help their children find their own. Selfless acts of love. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. That's mommy magic.
To all the mothers: wear your crown. You more than deserve it. I am the luckiest person on earth. Thank you Ayo.
Happy Mother's Day xx