Things to Breakup With Before 2016

Each year, people make self-proclaimed notions about change, doing better, and so on and so forth. What's not realized is that there is a cycle of broken New Year Resolutions that seem to fall by the way side after January. There's a reason for this, a blockage caused by our own self-defeating habits. It's time to break-up with the antiquated belief that another year will just bring change. If there is no action to bring these resolutions into fruition, then they are lifeless and will bear no fruits. 

Lose the Dead Weight:

It's time to break up with those who no longer serve a purpose in your life; this includes romantic partners, friends, and anybody you spend energy on. That purpose can be a lack of support, respect, intimacy, boundaries, and/or finances. Some of us know sooner than others, but when it's time to go don't be afraid to journey into the New Year alone. Ask yourself: "Are these people a reflection of my values, or am I reflection of theirs?" 

Get Rid of Stuff:

My daughter has a basket labeled "stuff" that's literally filled with things, some useful, mostly not. It's time to let it go. Those things that take up space but hold no value. Be conscious of how these things fill up your space and your mind; decluttering is good for the soul. 

Negative Thinking:

STOP! Just stop. It's like draining a battery of all its life with no back up in sight. You must plug into your emotions, to find out what's causing these feelings and disconnect. Your thoughts are powerful; choose light. 

Weight Loss Goals:

Gyms are flooded during the beginning of the year with people who added weight loss to the top of their list resolutions. While that's great, these same gyms lose their luster for most because the intent that brought them there wasn't right. Instead of solely focusing on loosing weight, focus on wellness, and a sustainable lifestyle. Create an affirmation that you are healthy and fit, and then put it on your wall. Everyday take action to get there; small strides are better than none. Pretty soon you will become your "body goal," through faith and consistency. 

Relationship Goals:

Sigh. It's time to breakup with idolizing someone else's relationship. Trust me, I get it, photos of couples promoting love and gifts just because, like opening the door to a room filled with roses, is always a beautiful thing to see, however it's a snapshot of the hard work it actually takes to make a relationship successful. Learn to appreciate your own relationship, and if single, value your alone time. The best relationships are those sustained through friendship, healthy communication practices (active listening is key), respected boundaries, and laughter. I'm inspired by how couples keep the love going and apply some of their practices in my own relationship, but by no means do I limit how I love based on just those practices. 

Playing Victim:

I tried playing that role for a few years, until I realized I had a part in every situation. It became clear that playing victim was a choice, and as hard and painful as some situations can be, no one else held actual control on my actions or reactions. Own your truths, and hold yourself accountable for your actions. Stop blaming others for your misfortunes. Change your story to reflect one of empowerment. It may be hard and will take time, but I assure you becoming the vict(or) will have a greater impact on your life. 

We are all here to be the best versions of ourselves. Affirm your 2016 is positively transformative now, and make sure your actions reflect your words. Be conscious of your thoughts, and how you treat others. Oh, and learn to smile from the inside out. Seriously, go within and find what makes you excited to wake up everyday -focus on that. I wish you a happy and prosperous new year! 



Ayana GibbsComment